“For many people, asking is the most difficult form of speaking out…”
“Asking —for the words, touches, reactions, gifts, responses, things to be done, ways to behave toward you, that you need— can be a very scary thing. That’s because when we ask, we’re vulnerable, and when we’re vulnerable we’re in touch with all the ways that we don’t love ourselves. 
“If you feel big, strong, hand-some, whole and worthy, it’s not very scary to ask for the moon-or anything else. But if you feel small, unworthy, crinkled, and unsure of your own value, it can be very difficult indeed.
“When you ask, you’re revealing your lack, your need, a gap in the fabric of your reality. When you ask, you’re taking the risk of asking another person to love and serve you in some particular way, and not because you’re the king or the queen of the mountain, but because you’re in need.
“Asking reveals your vulnerability. And when you reveal your vulnerability, you create a situation in which another person has power over you. You’re in need; they can fulfill your need— and how they’ll use their power remains to be seen.
“Will they lord it over you that you’re the pitiful desperate unfulfilled person who needs their praise, help, support, and inspiration?
“Or will they lovingly, gladly give you what you’ve asked for because, unlike you, they have already seen your value- they love you, it is their joy to give to you.
“Asking also opens you to another vulnerability. In revealing your need, you have to face any remaining questions of your ‘unworthiness.’ You have to step through the walls of your fears and behave as is you were already convinced enough of your own value to take a risk, to behave as if you’re already deserving. 
“Amazingly, you start feeling a little bit more as if you’re as strong or worthy or deserving as you appeared to be because you had the courage to ask.
“Each time you ask, each time you do take the risk, the struggling-to-love-yourself-you inside you is cheering you on and saying, ‘ I knew you could do it! I knew you were worth it!’
“And each time you get results, you’ll feel stronger, clearer, and more self-loving just because you did ask.”
~Daphne Rose Kingma from Loving Yourself